


All That Matters

by dsa_archivist



Category: due South
Genre: Drama, Gen, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1999-02-13
Updated: 1999-02-13
Packaged: 2018-11-11 03:02:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11139810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dsa_archivist/pseuds/dsa_archivist
Summary: Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived atDue South Archive. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address onDue South Archive collection profile.





	All That Matters

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived at [Due South Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Due_South_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Due South Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/duesoutharchive).

ALL THAT MATTERS

 

****

ALL THAT MATTERS

by Renny Ramos

1

===

"Lord, I am not worthy to receive You; but only say the Word and I shall be healed, " he said softly.

He kept his head bowed down and continued to pray, until the chimes signaled the invitation to the Sacrament of Holy Communion. He pressed his palms lightly against the wooden pew where he knelt, and brought himself up to a standing position. Lots of people today, he thought to himself. I guess I should fall in line now. 

As he made his way towards the line, he felt the strong grip of a hand against his arm. He paused and turned his head to identify its source. His eyes met hers. All it took was one look. He knew what she wanted to say.

For all the love she held in her heart for him, she saw him as a sinner now; unfit to share in his Father's Sacrament.

He looked into her eyes and said nothing. Gently, he pulled away from her and joined the line. 

"Body of Christ," the priest said.

The priest placed the host on his outstretched palm. 

"Amen," he replied. 

He closed his eyes reverently, before bringing the host to his mouth. The act finished, he returned to his seat, and knelt once more to pray. He closed his eyes and tried to drown his senses in prayer, as the loss grew and the void deepened. 

"Lord, please give me strength."

The Mass ended, and the throng of people slowly moved out of the Church. He stayed, and so did she. For a long time, neither of them spoke.

"How could you do this to your family?" she finally asked. 

"I've always been this way, Ma. I just never told you. I ... never wanted to hurt you." he replied. "I just wanted to stop living a lie, that's all. Please ..." and he choked on his words as his tears finally began to fall. "Please ... try to understand."

She put her hands to her face and sobbed softly, "It's all my fault, it's all my fault." 

 He brought his arms around her. "Shhhh. It's not anybody's fault, Ma. It's just ... the way it is."

He remembered the moment, just a week ago, when he finally found the courage to string together three little words and sum up the confession of his life: 

"I am gay."

Just three words that tipped the balance of his life forever ...

He rocked her in his arms, until she calmed down. He continued to hold her in silence, until she pulled away from him and proceeded to walk out of the Church.

"Ma?"

"I love you, caro; but you have to put ... this ... behind you. Until that time comes ... you are not my son." 

2

===

Alone, he wept himself to exhaustion in that church. And he continued to pray.

"Lord, please give me strength."

3

===

As he knelt to say goodbye, his eyes focused on the majestic cross placed squarely in front of the altar.

He smiled sadly to himself. 

"So, this is the life I'll be leading from now on."

He made the sign of the cross, stood up and began to walk away. 

Mid-way through the aisle, he paused and looked back.

"I have You; that's all that matters now. That is enough."

He had Faith. He had Truth. He had Love. 

 

\- The End - 

 

__

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